Here’s a quote by Neil Gailman
“Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens
up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
And how true these words are.
This blog post is about something truly close to my heart. This
one hits home. All this while I’ve been trying to develop other facets of my
personality. It started with cooking up a storm in the kitchen, planning as
hectic a social calendar as I could and finally my newfound obsession; fitness!
All this to drown out what was really going on inside and avoid having to
really delve right into my emotions and god forbid – DEAL WITH THEM!
And as I’m smiling in this very moment and quickly running
through the last five or so months of my life, I realize that all these things
certainly helped a little. They made me happier and of course they distracted
me for a little while… But did I really forget?
Nope.
And here’s what I think I’ve understood now. I don’t think I’m
supposed to! How can I? The person I’m writing about, thinking about and
missing constantly has crawled into the absolute deepest place in my heart,
made a little home in there, created an immensely strong force field around it
and refuses to vacate or be evicted out of there.
So instead I’ve decided to give up on the whole idea of
forgetting about him and pretending like he never existed, because he does
exist and so did those brilliant years we spent together. I decided to write
him this instead and hopefully he’s reading…
Dear You,
You came into my life and completely knocked everything out of
place. It wasn’t something either of us planned and certainly nothing we
expected but it happened. You came and you were there through thick and thin.
You made me lose my mind sometimes and you brought out an overwhelmingly loving
side in me. For that, I say thank you!
We did pretty much what every teenage couple does. We fought, we
danced, we kissed, and we made each other so miserable and so happy all at
once.
There were days I liked to really wind you up and push your
buttons, just because I knew I could. We were so in sync we could practically
read each other’s minds and sometimes we made an unbelievable mess out of
things.
And then we grew up. We’re no longer teenagers anymore.
But the thing that I really loved is no matter how long it had
been, no matter how petty or how ginormous the fight we were having seemed, all
it took was a big hug and long kiss and we practically turned back time. Like
we never fought to begin with.
The memories I shared with you can be replaced by nothing and no
one else. The craziness and brilliance of our relationship will survive even
the end of it.
You were my rock, my best friend, the love of my life and the
one person who I know after all is said and done and the dust has settled from
the wars we wage, will always have my back.
I’ve loved you for four incredible years and I think I might
love you for a few more.
The one thing I’d like to say is for all the hurt I’ve caused
I’m truly sorry. Let’s keep the promise we made and not lose everything we
gained and worked at for so many years.
Let’s promise to never forget.
I Love You and I’m proud of that.
- Me.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
